Ron Parker's periodic commentary

Nit Picking

Headline of a Three Chimneys ad at bloodhorse.com:

"7 Wins in 7 Days for Smarty Jones!!!"

Gee, I didn't even know he was back in training.

Funny Cide On Tour

In case you're wondering what Funny Cide is doing these days when he's not lounging around his stall at the Kentucky Horse Park, he recently visited Ellis Park in Kentucky on the opening day of its meeting to promote the latest drink sensation, Funny Cider.

"Mint juleps might be the drink of choice at the Kentucky Derby," according to an article in the Lexington Herald-Leader, "but one former winner is now marketing his own beverage, substituting apples for mint and leaving out the bourbon."

The non-alcoholic beverage was sold to Ellis patrons "in both a commemorative cup and plastic bottle featuring a picture of the horse galloping past the finish line with Churchill's twin spires in the background."

Funny Cider is being produced at Evans Orchards, near the Horse Park, with all profits going to the park's Hall of Champions.

"He has a great following," said Evans Orchards manager Jenny Evans.  "It's insane."

Everybody Has a Website

"Welcome to BobBaffert.com," the opening page said.  "I have been blessed with many great moments in this grand game of horse racing, and I am as committed and energized as ever to achieve many more.  It is an honor to share the most exciting with you, and I invite your comments and interaction."

Well, if you're not into sharing exciting moments with the silver-haired one, you might try www.nyra.com/rachel.  That's the address for "Rachel's Sandbox," Rachel being none other than Rachel Alexandra. 

I sent her an email congratulating her on the Preakness win, but haven't heard back yet.

Breeders' Cup Solutions

You may have noticed a fair amount of media attention to the fact that the Breeders' Cup, like many other organizations, is losing money and needs to make some adjustments to save a few million, be it by cutting back on purses or races or a combination of both.  Several members of the press have offered their suggestions, so why should I be different?

Andy Beyer pointed out that they got into this predicament by trying to keep up with the Joneses, in this case the Sheikhs in Dubai who have an apparently unlimited source of funds to beef up their purses with.  Obviously this is a war Breeders' Cup can't win, and my suggestions are very simple:

1)    Everyone has an opinion on which races to cut, ranging to a retreat to the original eight races from the 14 now being offered to maybe nine or ten.  I suggest they go with 12 races (all run on a one day card) by eliminating only the Juvenile Turf and the Juvenile Fillies' Turf.  There are very few prep races for these two categories, the Breeders' Cup scrounged up six for each of the two races that they listed as preps and five of those 12 aren't even in the United States.  A couple at Louisiana Downs, hardly a hotbed of Breeders' Cup hopefuls, aren't even graded.

As trainer Wesley Ward recently commented as to why he might take several of his juveniles to England in the fall, "good sprint races on grass at that time of year are rare here in the U.S., which is why I have made the entries."

2)    Trim the purses starting with the $5-million Classic.  That purse was $3-million the first dozen years and I didn't hear anyone complaining.  Cut the $2-million races to $1.5-million (who decreed these purses have to be rounded to the nearest million anyway?) and keep the $1-million races at that level. 

Well, actually there was a decree that the Marathon should only be worth $500,000, after all why should they encourage breeders to try and produce stouter stock that can run a couple of miles instead of short-winded cookie-cutter commercial horses that couldn't get two miles in a van?  Make the Marathon $1-million so it gets the same respect as the six furlong quarter horse imitators.

3)    Why do they call it the Dirt Mile when last year and this year all the dirt races are on Santa Anita's artificial surface?  Never, ever, run another Breeders' Cup on something that was made in a lab instead of by God.  Even former California Horse Racing Board chairman Richard Shapiro recently expressed his regret about mandating in 2006 that all state racetracks be converted from dirt to synthetic surfaces.

"In 20-20 hindsight," he was quoted in the San Diego Union-Tribune, "I would not have pushed for a mandate. You ask me if I'm disappointed and, in a word, the answer is yes."

The Name Game

It's not easy coming up with a name for a Thoroughbred and some names have been created for what would seem to be an insidious plot to send track announcers to the nearest bar.

But recently I came across some that I simply considered clever:

Be Vewy Vewy Quiet (you have to be  a Bugs Bunny-Elmer Fudd fan to appreciate that)

Giddy Yap

Doadeerafemaledeer

Iaintnobunnyrabbit

Youcan't Tuneafish

Kissin the Cobra

Sumwhrovrtherainbw

Dadsalittleunusual

Vivien Neigh